# Trust
Trust!
A small word with massive impact in family life and our relationships in general. Today we're going to have a look at how trust effects our relationships within the family, how important it is and how we can work at mending a relationship that has been damaged by trust that has been broken.
The Macquarie Dictionary defines trust as, "to believe or have confidence, to count on, rely on, have faith in, to hope or expect."
A small word with big expectations indeed! Trust is of the highest importance in any relationship, but especially so with our family. Trust is like the building block and foundation of a relationship. Where there is trust, the person feels confident in confiding in the other, knowing that they will be loyal. This helps us feel safe with the other person and builds strong bonds between family members.
Some of the benefits of trust are;
# Trust helps lower levels of stress.
# Trust lifts our own levels of self-confidence.
# Trust gives us peace of mind.
# Trust helps us make meaningful social connections.
# Trust helps in increasing our optimism and our outlook on things in general.
So what do we do when trust has been broken?
Rebuilding trust can be difficult, but not impossible. It takes time, work and commitment on both parts.
Some steps to rebuilding trust are;
# Take responsibility for your own actions. Don't play the blame game....every choice you make is not someone else's fault when things go wrong.
# Decide to forgive and let go of the past hurt.
# Allow yourself time to grieve. Trust that has been broken hurts!
# Share how you feel with the other person. Communication is a key element for rebuilding trust.
# Be open to self growth and improvement.
# Be true to your word and expect the same from the other person.
# Be consistent....trust is built by consistency.
A note regarding children who have parents that have separated-
Parents break up for many different reasons, however, one important thing to consider is the different ways a child can be affected by the separation, especially when the child has experienced domestic violence.
Domestic violence affects everyone involved on many different levels. However, for a child, there can be anxiety, fear, mental health problems, lack of self esteem and trust issues. Some ways that parents can help rebuild trust where it has been broken between parent and child are to be patient, gentle and consistent. These can pay off over time, but it is important to remember that they're not a quick fix. Gently talking to your child about how they feel and apologizing if you have been the perpetrator of domestic violence can help, but remember to keep it on the child's level of understanding. This will vary for each child and their age. When it comes time for visitation and phone calls it is important to be consistent, even when the child is afraid to come and visit or refuses to visit or talk to you. Even though it can be frustrating if the child refuses visits or calls, these consistencies that you show, will over time, be something a child remembers and can be the healing steps to a healthy parent/child relationship.
Just remember, you don't need to do life alone. If you need someone to talk to and walk through the difficulties with you, just call us at Out of the Ashes Counselling, 0431433690.
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