Intimacy in Marriage,
by Sharon Luscombe - Counsellor
Out of the Ashes Counselling Australia
When we think of intimacy in marriage, our first thoughts turn to sex! And while sex is great, there is far more to intimacy within a marriage. Today let's explore some of those aspects and how to incorporate them into a healthy marriage.
Communication - Talking to your spouse about what you like and don't like can boost intimacy and satisfaction in the bedroom together. Being open and vulnerable shows trust to your partner. This in turn brings you closer together as a couple.
Be the first one to initiate touch - Kissing, hugging, holding hands and touch in general all cause the brain to release oxytocin, that feel good hormone. Spend time together just holding each other and melting into each others. When you leave each day for work, take a little extra time to kiss for longer.
Resolve conflicts quickly - All couples have conflicts and differences of opinion, however, working through them is important to keep intimacy fresh in a relationship. We all think differently and understanding each others differences and remembering that we can't change our partner to think the way we do is important. Resolving conflict quickly helps us keep moving forward with a strong marriage.
Flirt - Just because you're married doesn't mean the fun stops. Chase after each other like you did when you were dating. Leave love notes, send sexy texts to each other, buy little treats for each other, compliment each other, give a quick call on your lunch break, the list is endless and flirting is fun. Flirting sets the bedroom up for success and builds the bond between the couple.
Try something new together - Take turns in initiating sex. This way both partners have the opportunity to seduce and be seduced. Remember, routine is boring! Experiment with new positions and even new locations, why does sex always need to be in the bedroom? The occasional quick and surprise moments of passion can also do wonders for intimacy within a marriage.
Prioritize your marriage and sex life together - Studies have shown that couples who prioritize their marriage have more fulfilling, satisfying and longer lasting happy marriages than those who don't. Organize date nights together, even if you have to schedule it into your diary and let nothing else override that "appointment." Some couples organize this every couple of weeks. Take turns in planning the date night and include some surprise dates where your partner doesn't know where you're going together or what the date might entail, or where it could lead....
Learn you spouse's love language - Once again communication is key. Talk to your spouse about what makes them feel loved. Gary Chapman has a great book and quiz that is good for couples to learn theirs and their partners love language.
Leave the phone and electronics alone - Many couples find it helpful to put their phones on charge and electronics away at a certain time each evening. This way you have each others undivided attention. You don't need to be available to everyone else 24/7.
Memories - Remember all of the activities, holidays, date nights, moments of passion, little love notes, the time you were dating each other, looking through photos etc all account for memories you have made together. Talking about these memories and reminiscing, further builds the bond of marriage together.
You and your spouse are a powerful team, however, it doesn't just happen because you've said "I do." Marriage needs to be worked on, to continue to be strong and healthy. Putting time and effort into your marriage will pay off immensely with the reward of a long and happy marriage.
Photo - Steven Cordes
If you need some help with your marriage and developing intimacy, as always don't do life alone, we're only a phone call away. Call Out of the ashes Counselling Australia and make an appointment.
PH:0431433690
Comments