Self Esteem,
by Sharon Luscombe - Counsellor
Out of the Ashes Counselling Australia
The teenage years are full of many changes and challenges. Physical, emotional and even psychological changes are happening, often at a very fast pace. The way we feel about ourselves and our achievements is our self esteem. Some people are confident and have a healthy self esteem. Other people are not so confident and have a lower self esteem.
Take a moment and think about yourself......are you confident being the person you are or are there times when you feel like you're not good enough, you don't measure up, you're not athletic enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough....the list can go on.
Stress, bullying, the negative things people say, the things that make you feel anxious, social media, an insecure family life and more, can all cause low self esteem.
Today we're going to look at ways we can boost our self esteem to be at a more healthy level.
1. Self talk.
It sounds really weird, I know. But trust me, it actually works. The things we say about ourselves are what we actually start to believe. This is how it works......whatever we speak about ourselves, our heart and mind follow and the result of that, is that we start to believe that what we are continually saying, is true. So, if you're saying negative things about yourself regularly, you'll probably find that you actually think that it's true. Try sitting down somewhere quiet, and write down at least 5 positive things about yourself. We all have strong points and we all have weaknesses. The idea here is to focus on your strengths. Are you kind, good at math, friendly, have a great smile, trustworthy, like helping others, great cook, considerate, awesome at skateboarding etc. Think of all the positive attributes that relate to you. Many teens write sticky notes and have them up all over their bedroom and bathroom etc and then every morning look in the mirror and tell yourself how amazing you really are.
Give it a try for at least 2 weeks and see if you can feel the difference in yourself.
2. The people we hang out with.
The people we hang out with really make a difference in how we think and feel about ourselves. If we hang out with people who talk down about themselves and others, we often end up doing the same. We need to choose our friends wisely and purposefully. Successful people choose to hang around with people who think and act in a positive way, so that they start to think and act in a similar way. This helps to build us up to be the best person we can be.
3. Setting goals that are realistic.
Are there things you really want to achieve? Have you ever thought about writing down all of your goals? By doing this, you'll have a visual to physically look at. After writing down the main goals you'd like to focus on, start thinking about smaller goals (or steps) that can be put into place to make your goals and dreams a reality. When we look at our goals we may think, "I'll never achieve that, it's too big!." But all big goals have smaller goals that are steps to achieving that big one! Gradually, as you achieve each smaller step, you'll be able to see that you're getting closer to that big one. It's important to be realistic when setting goals. Our big dreams and goals don't happen instantly, but with small steps, they become a reality, a lot quicker than we think.
4. Feeling confident with who YOU are.
It's very easy to feel like we need to be like the models in the magazines or the celebrities in the movies or someone's "highlight reel" on Face Book, because they have it all together right? Wrong. They have their ups and downs in life like anyone else. They also have things that they can control and things they can't. All people are made to be different from each other. We all have different ways of doing things, different ways of thinking, different ways we like to dress, different foods we like to eat and the list can go on. This is a good thing. Can you imagine how boring life would be if we were all the same? We all add value to our world by being our unique selves. Trying to be like someone else only makes us miserable and frustrated. So when you head out today remember,
The best person you can be is YOU, and you are enough!
5. Help make a difference in someone's life.
Have you ever done something for someone? How did it make you feel?
Research tells us that helping others actually helps prevent depression and anxiety, helps us live longer, helps prevent heart disease, releases endorphins that make us feel good and increases our feelings of self worth. That's not to mention how great we've made the other person feel by providing a need or helping with a task that needed doing.
Making a difference in someone else's life helps the other person and it will boost the way you feel about yourself.
Could it be a good idea to check out where volunteers are needed in your local area?
You matter, so much more than you might think at the moment. If you are struggling in any way, don't do life alone. Talk to someone you know you can trust and be open and honest with them. It's the first step to moving forward.
If you feel like you don't have anyone to talk to, please call us at Out of the Ashes Counselling (0431433690). We'll walk along side you and support you, without judgement.
If you're in a life threatening situation, please call 000 immediately.
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