What is Grief and Loss,
by Sharon Luscombe - Counsellor
Out of the Ashes Counselling Australia
What is Grief?
Grief is quite a broad term that describes our natural reactions or responses to a significant loss that includes our thoughts, feelings, behaviour and can also include physical symptoms.
Loss can be associated with many things including; loss of a loved one, loss of a relationship, loss of a treasured item, loss of a pet, loss of some aspect of self or developmental loss.
Grief is complex and multi-faceted and every person's experience of grief will be different, not only because we are all different to each other, but the situation in which that particular loss has come about can vary the way we respond and grieve.
There are many emotional responses to grief, these can include; sadness, yearning or pining, anger, guilt or remorse, anxiety, loneliness, relief or numbness. Many people feel like they are on an unpleasant rollercoaster of emotions and just when they think they are starting to feel a little better, they plunge into a barrage of emotions again that can be very distressing and overwhelming.
Some physical symptoms of grief that may be experienced include; oversensitivity to noise, shortness of breath, dry mouth, headaches, tightness in the throat, digestive problems, tightness in the chest, hollowness in the stomach, weakness of muscles and bodily aches. All of these symptoms are normal and many people experience at least some of them at different times through out the grieving process. If however you are concerned about any symptoms you may be experiencing at any time, always make an appointment to see your GP.
How Can we Support Someone who is Grieving?
People tend to associate certain responses with the experience of grief, however, every person is very different in every way, including how we grieve. While there are many common and expected grief reactions, grief manifests itself with a great deal of variation in each individual.
No two people grieve the same.
With this in mind, it would be wise to allow our loved ones and friends who are grieving, the time and space to grieve in their own way, remembering we are all individuals. Reaching out to our loved ones and friends with an open mind in how they may respond will inevitably result in them feeling supported and loved through their time of grieving.
Some people like to have a lot of people around them as it helps them to feel secure while they grieve, others like a little time with close family and friends and then time alone to process their grief, still others like to mostly be alone.
Always reaching out in love and offering support in any way that you can, provides a safe space for the person to grieve. Gently providing a quiet space to just 'sit and do or say nothing' can be so very comforting. Just 'being there' provides security and comfort and lets the grieving person know they are not alone and are supported. Providing a meal, babysitting, cleaning a home, school runs, phone calls, helping prepare for the funeral or just a listening ear and some hugs can all be helpful.
However, many people forget to support their loved one after the funeral. Grief takes time, and support is needed long after a funeral or cremation. Remember there is nothing we can do to take the pain of a loss away, but we can be there for our loved ones while they go through the grieving process.
Photo by - Helen Zahray - Unsplash
If you or someone you love is struggling with grief and need support, please don't hesitate to reach out to Out of the Ashes Counselling Australia.
As always, don't do life alone, we're only a phone call away. PH;0431433690
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